Even though my graduation ceremony is not until May – so logical right? – I’ve felt like a graduate since I’ve completed my thesis defense on September 3rd. It didn’t sink in completely at first because nothing had changed much. It started to shift in my mind when I would talk to someone and refer to myself as a student or when I would take the tram surrounded my real students commuting to College or at some point at the end of September, but when I never went back myself.
It’s such a whirlwind of emotions. Everything in my everyday life has changed and therefore what I expect from myself too. After over a couple months actively looking for a job, I’ve realized that there are many things nobody tells you about being a graduate and looking for a job. It changes your life in many ways and though I knew in my head that it would make a big change, I wasn’t expecting all the other aspects.
- you are going to doubt yourself and your abilities a lot
- you will wake up and have a little heart jolt as in “what am I going to do with my life??!”
- you will cry/feel down often because you feel like your life has no purpose
- you will find out who really is there to support you
- you will feel very poor, often… and money will constantly be on your mind because it’s when you have nothing coming in that you can tell how flipping expensive everything is
- You won’t be able to make plans too long in advance because you might *fingers crossed* be getting an interview that day or finally start a job
- At some point, you will question your entire life including your degree and all the choices you’ve made in your life
- there will be some up moments when you’ll feel like the world is your oyster and you can do anything you like. But not often.
- it’s a very scary moment and waiting is the worst.
I’m trying to focus on the positive aspects of this time of my life. I finally have had some real time off without having to do any Uni work or an internship, I can go to the gym whenever I want and organize my days how I please, I do not have to see people everyday and pretty much never wear a bra and this is so great. I have a few down days a week where I question everything and it feels like I’ll never find a job because I’m not good enough but I try to let things just come as they are and not ponder on anything too much. Recent life events have made me see the bigger picture more and that it’s just a part of life that will pass and become a memory soon. There’s nothing I can do about people asking applicants to have between 2 to 7 years of experience for a job. I can’t change anything. It’s really an opportunity for me to learn to let go of things I cannot control, no matte how hard it is (hello, I’m Gaby and I’m a control freak). But at the end of the day, it’s just life and I have to accept everything that comes my way because I believe that everything happens for a reason.