Life has been a bit crazy recently. I started my internship in April, my boyfriend and I moved two weeks after, he cut his finger open two days after, he got surgery a few days later, I reached 500 followers on my blog at the end of April and life has got a bit cray-cray.
The internship is going well which is great and quite a relief. I know it’s not necessarily my dream job but I like the fact that it’s not money oriented, my colleagues are very nice, I’m 20 minutes away from home, 10 away from the gym, what more could I ask for?
This big blog milestone felt quite weird to be honest. First because it took a bit of time to reach it because I didn’t post constantly during the couple months before due to exams but also because well, it’s the first big one I guess. I have to admit that, being the not confident person that I am, I still felt like it wasn’t enough. Don’t ask me why, it doesn’t make sense. If it has had been anyone else I would be thrilled for them and it would feel so big, but I guess comparison is the killer of self-esteem. Don’t get me wrong, I am super thrilled and anyone I’ve told was quite proud and happy for me and I could see in their not-part-of-the-blogging-community eyes that it was quite big for them. But for me, being surrounded (if not drowned) by thousands of amazing bloggers who have a bigger following than me (and for most of them have been doing it for years), it’s not much.
And I’ve been feeling the same about Instagram. I’ve talked about it in one of my latest posts (you can read it here) and though I try to have a positive outlook on it, most days recently it’s been pissing me off. Every time I get followers, they end up unfollowing a couple days after, the engagement is not as good as it could be and I really feel like a failure.
After a great big amazing discussion with a colleague who gave me incredible advices I finally felt a rush of hopefulness, creativity and motivation coming back after a few weeks of disheartening. I felt on top of the world and like everything was falling into place. I guess I am still in change/improvement mode so things are on the way and I shouldn’t feel disheartened by everything but some days, some sad cold grey days, I can’t help it. I know it’s part of the journey and that maybe it’s just my work not being good enough and that it all takes time. All I can do for now is to up my game (many new style of photos and more of my face coming on the gram) and hope for the best. Jade from Bella Inizio has written an incredible post a few days ago about giving up the numbers game on social media so I’m going to listen to this incredible content creator and not give a damn and just have fun with it.
How has your life been lately?