How to deal with negativity and negative self-talk
March 18, 2019
Negativity is something we all have had to deal with at some point in our life. Whether it’s negative self-talk, someone criticizing someone else for a reason or another, bad comments online or just a negative atmosphere, it never does any good. Negativity can ruin a day or create a downward spiral even. It’s not constructive, it doesn’t amount to anything but makes you feel like poo at the end of the day.
Unfortunately, it’s something that has been at the forefront of my mind this week. I’ve had to deal with a lot of negative talking in the past 10 days at work and it hasn’t made me feel good. A negative environment can be quite toxic. It takes away every positive vibe in your body and just leaves someone with bad thoughts and a uneasy feeling. Something I don’t like is when negativity is not expressed verbally. Feeling a bad vibe but not having the person put it into words is quite unsettling. You don’t know on which foot to stand, have no clear idea of what is wrong and therefore, cannot fix whatever is.
But negative talking spoken when the concerned party is not present is just pointless as well. If you need to let it out and just moan for a little bit, just go for it but don’t let it affect other people.
Here’s what I do when I have to deal with negative talking or situation
Talk it out. There is no point in feeling something but not expressing it. It’s not about giving your two cents, it’s about having a reasonable, controlled conversation and actually discussing the matter at hand. The point is that each party explains their feeling and try to have a clear idea of the issues that need to be dealt with or to understand the different point of view.
Create myself a little bubble. I already deal with anxiety so I don’t need any more negativity in my life. When a negative situation takes place, it often triggers a feeling of anxiety in me because conflict triggers it. Creating myself a little sanctuary out of this situation can help me not get too affected by it.
Get out of the situation. I don’t mean flee the country, but getting out of the room or even the building can help. If the tension in the air becomes too much to bear or is affecting me negatively I just go. If I can still hear it, I like to put some earphone (or headphones if possible as they are better at cancelling out noise), some calming music on or play songs that make me feel good and I get in the zone. I take a break if needed or tackle some tasks that will take my mind off the negative situation.
I am working on my negative self-talk. I realized a little while ago that my biggest issue when it comes to confidence and self-image is how I talk to myself. My inner monologue when I look at myself in a mirror or when it comes to things I want to do. People can lift you up and give you courage, but what will drive you is how you talk to yourself.
Ever since I realized that, I’ve been trying to work on it, to stop myself in my tracks when I do that. Sometimes it’s so rooted in me that it takes me a while to recognize that I’m having a negative self-talk.
Here are a few tips to stop yourself from being negative towards yourself:
Talk as if you were talking to a friend. I don’t remember where I saw that – probably Pinterest – but that’s absolutely true. Most of the time, the way you talk to yourself is the opposite of what you would tell a friend. So try to look at your reflection in the mirror or use the voice in your head as if you were talking to your best friend instead.
Take a step back. Sometimes, I’m just being negative about where I am at in my life or body-wise because I’m so stuck looking at myself every second that I forget to take a step back and see where I come from. When you look at it like a journey, it changes the way you perceive life.
Talk it out, let it out. Whether it’s giving your everything at the gym or talking it out over coffee with a loved one, it’ll do you wonders. Often, it’s all you need, to let it out so you can figure some things out, but also get perspective. I know that for me that works very well, I’ll email a friend or talk it out with my boyfriend or my sister. It’s so therapeutic.