I can’t quite believe today is the 1st of September. I still feel like we are in May-June time so… you could say I’m a bit late. The past few months have both dragged (before August) but also flew by.
Tomorrow is my first day back at work after a few (very necessary) weeks off. I can’t say I’m too thrilled about it but I can’t complain, I was lucky to have been able to get so many weeks off.
A little trip to Provence, check.
Weekly/Bi-weekly bike rides, check
Seeing my best friend, check
Reading by the pool, check.
An incredible concert I’ll never forget, check.
A lovely two-days in Paris for said concert, check.
There is something about the blue sky, warm weather and as little clothing as possible to not die in said warm weather, that really helps me relax. I really needed this time off. I spent the first week sleeping all the time, 9-10 hours each night and a long nap every afternoon. The first two days felt like bliss. Knowing I had so much time to do nothing and everything I wanted to do felt so good. I had been waiting a long time for them. It took a while to get out of work mode, but being at my parents helped, a change of scenery is often necessary for me to switch off.
I still have this feeling that I haven’t done enough, though. I wanted to do so much more work than I did. But even though I still worked quite a bit, I also wanted to take some time to just read, lay by the pool and enjoy not doing anything. It’s important to take some time off and reflect, enjoy and just be.
I think I was also a bit stressed because I had quite the project in the works… A Youtube channel. Now, I’ve been thinking about creating one for years. For many reasons (financial, anxiety, no time, not there yet mentally…) I waited until I could feel that I was ready, because it’s quite something. Speaking in another language directly, without being able to correct myself if a mistake slipped in, having people see me and putting myself out there for the world to, literally, see felt like a big step. But you know what they say: if you can’t stop thinking about it, do it.
So I did, I started pre-filming in early July, my first vlog (up next Sunday!) whilst in Italy and then filmed when I could. I filmed two videos I was pretty sure wouldn’t make the cut to practice. I immediately fell in love with editing. It felt right and that, my dears, was so reassuring. Filming is exciting as well, the freedom to talk about whatever is amazing. I do still get a bit nervous (but a good kind of nervous) but I try to brush it off and just be me.
Being a big perfectionist/ afraid of negative judgment, this is not always easy. However, I do believe that growth comes from stepping out of your comfort zone. And also, I enjoy it so much. I feel so motivated and full of energy when I’ve filmed a video and then edit. And that’s proof that I must be doing something right for myself. I know it’s not perfect (or at least how I’d like it to be yet), the sound probably isn’t top notch and I guess you can sense I’m a bit nervous, but that’s okay. Because it means there’s room for improvement and growth.
So here it is, my first ever Youtube video posted – 33 Questions with Gabrielle Snow. I did a little Q&A, Vogue’s 73 Questions’ style. It was super fun to research and film so I hope you’ll enjoy.
I’m both super excited and scared shitless of what’s to come. But that’s good, huh? Please, say yes…