2019 starts in 18 days. Eighteen DAYS.
I just can’t wrap my head around that fact. For me this past year went January…. – march- april – july – heat wave for ever – september – december . I swear it wasn’t twelve months long.
Maybe that’s due to the fact that so much changed this year. Nothing is the same as it was last year and in a way it’s a scary fact. However, I’m quite grateful for the changes – well, most of them.
Let’s start with the beginning…
The start of a new year always brings some positivity and great plans for the year ahead. Though it’s incredibly cold and dark, the first few weeks of the year are usually all about planning and trying to apply some new year’s resolutions (here are my 2018 resolutions). However, I wasn’t too happy with my life. My friends were not the best at that time and I wasn’t where I wanted to be in my head.
That month was when I started my internship… where I currently work full time! I was a bit scared but also quite excited to leave the classroom (forever) and to start working and earning money from my own sweat (typing doesn’t make you sweat, but you know what I mean). From the first week I felt comfortable and I liked my coworkers very much and I liked the work we do here. It was also the month we moved and I’m so happy with our apartment. I still can’t believe the view, especially now that there’s snow. In April, I also started to get a clearer idea of where I wanted to go with my life, what I really aspired to and even though it was very scary, it was also a relief to finally feel like I knew where I was going.
With the end of my internship approaching, the start of my thesis writing taking so much time and a very anticipated trip to London planned at the end of the month, July went by in the blink of an eye. It was also the start of a heat wave and I can still remember like it was yesterday the sweat making my tops stick to my back in the 35°C office. I was exhausted physically and mentally after 5+ months without a vacation and was desperate for some real time off. I also was looking oh so forward to spending time in my parents pool because damn it was hot.
Thesis writing. Swimming in the pool. Trip to Spain. Thesis last touches. Job hunting. More time spent in the pool because damn it, it’s so hot. My mom’s birthday, my birthday, my dad’s birthday. Waiting to hear from a job interview. Sending in my thesis (finally!). August was very full… and also very relaxing in a way. Spending time at my family house during summer always feel like a vacation.
For me, both months are a blur and mushed together. They were months of waiting, worrying, applying, more worrying, anxiety, waiting some more and then working part-time and more applying and waiting. Though I love October and there was a few things set in motion, I was glad when they were over. I’ve never doubted myself more in such a short period of time. With October also came one of the worst news someone could get and the month felt like a blur of trying to process it.
The start of my job meant that a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I could finally breathe and sleep without fearing what tomorrow would bring. I was also able to set a few more plans into motion which was a huge relief after the past couple months of stress and feeling stuck. I felt like I had my shiz together a bit more and that felt really nice at last!
The Bad News continued its journey and meant more stress and worry, whilst trying to remain strong and positive. It was also the month my little sister turned 18 which still feels strange but such a good day. My boyfriend’s birthday was exactly a week later and we celebrated my going to a spa and eating at our favorite restaurant.
December came as a shock to be honest. I didn’t see it coming though I started getting a bit festive in November, and then forgot all about it. December means two things for me: Christmas and all the festive things it brings is coming, and a much needed break is on the way. I’m quite excited each year to spend a couple weeks with my family, glued to the couch with a good book (a thriller usually), warm thanks to the fireplace and watching series with the fam. This year is the same. It’s going to be a strange Christmas for sure, but I’m glad we all are here for one another and that’s priceless. I’m also quite chuffed with what we got my parents and what I bought for my sister so I’m excited for the 25th. By the way, do you open some presents on the 24th or do you keep them for the 25th?
Overall, this year has been a weird one but I’m so glad for the change internally. I feel more sure than ever about what I want to do of my life and more secure in who I want to become if that makes sense.
Keep your eyes open for a little New year’s goal blogpost,