It’s funny how talking to people about something can really make you realize stuff.
Just today, whilst washing our plate and cutlery after lunch, a couple of colleagues and I were talking about our bodies. Basically one of them really wanted a lemon pie. She asked if we wanted to come with her to try to find some. My other colleague and I answered at the same time “I’m still sick (stomach) but it sounds delicious and I’d love to gain some weight” / “Oh no, I am trying to lose weight”.
As you can guess if you have read my other blogposts on body image, I am the one who answered “Oh no, I am trying to lose weight”, as I have for the past, um, 5 years?. My other colleague, who I adore, is naturally slim and has a fast metabolism. The polar opposite of our answers made us laugh.
I’ve never been body confident. My mother has never been either and so I guess I took on her negative views on a curvy body. (Also, I know that my relationship with food is not very mentally healthy, but that’s a topic for another day). But my slim, gorgeous blue-eyed colleague is not necessarily body confident either. She said that she would like to reach a higher up weight as she’d like to get some curves. Funny how you never are happy with what you have, isn’t it? I want to lose curves, and she wants to gain some… wanna trade?
If only it were that easy.
I’ve been following more body confidence Instagram accounts lately and they have made an impact on how I view my body. I’m learning to respect it more for how amazing it is – I mean, I’m breathing, walking and digesting without needing to think about it. But I’m also working on accepting, and loving the things of my body I used to sometimes (often) consider flaws: cellulite, stretch marks and fat.
It’s a work in progress of trying to catch myself whenever I have a negative talk about my body whenever I see myself in the mirror or a reflection and when I compare myself with others. Basically, if I wouldn’t let one of my friends talk to herself like I am doing, I immediately tell myself the exact same thing I would tell them: we are all unique and every body is beautiful in its own way because of it’s what’s inside that matters.
Just yesterday, I was shopping with my sister and caught sight of myself in a mirror. I immediately felt bad because of how my thighs looked in the jeans I was wearing. It bummed me. I was already regretting the nice veggie burgers we were to eat that night. And then I tried to reverse this thought. You know what? I’m eat healthy all week long, I work out five times a week, my body is how it is and that’s okay. It took a few minutes but let me tell you: I devoured the burger and fries.
There are ups and downs regarding my relationship with my body. I know that the week I’m due my period is usually a hard one because I’m bloated and feel very down and anxious. Hormones… But it’s a training process to teach my mind to be less negative and judgmental of how I look.
Interesting fact: you’ll never talk to anyone how much you talk to yourself, so be kind.