7 Things I Learned About Myself, Life Lessons – My Early 20s

January 10, 2018

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I think once you become a young adult, all the school drama and inner issues sort of disappear to give space to self-construction. You start to figure out who you really are, what you like without peer pressure, acknowledging what you don’t like and who you want to become.

For the past I would say 3 years, I realize I’ve learned so much about myself that I find it easier to be more aware of who I am and what I want my life to be like. I thought I would share with you a few random realizations I’ve had lately.

The “lows” are part of the deal, you just need to overcome them

I always thought hoped that one day, everything would be right, not perfect, but an all white/light-grey life, without black or even dark grey moments, just good and a little bit of. Well, no. But year after year I realized at some point that bad moments will happen, hard times will come and I will have to accept it and just work on them.

You just need to ride the rollercoaster, take charge and not let it ruin the highs, but rather aim at them to get rid of the lows. In the end, low moments are what makes life interesting and what teaches us lessons. It’s what makes us tougher. I love the quote “life is tough, but honey so are you”, I think it definitely has become my mantra when bad things happen.

Listen to your guts, they are often right

I think that’s something I’ve learned pretty recently. When I get a feeling about something or someone, it often turns out to be right. It’s quite incredible how your body can help your brain figure things out. It has happened to me so many times, when I met my oldest true friend (E, if you read this ily), when I got together with my boyfriend 7 and a half years ago, when I came back to Grenoble last year, when I applied for my master’s degree, when I visited my apartment, when I met my classmates… I could go on and on, adding even random everyday feelings. Listen to your gust, the feeling you get about people, ideas, plans, etc…, it will help you make up your mind and take decisions way more easily.

Some things will become your pet peeves, but you will have to accept it because hey, nobody is the same

I have always been on time, and when I say on time it’s at least 5 minutes early to everything. I hate being late. My parents are like this as well, I remember a few years back, we were invited for dinner and arrived 15 minutes early so we decided to drive around for a bit and then knocked on their door at 7p.m. on the dot. My mom’s friend laughed so hard when we told them. I’ve been brought up to be on time and respect everybody’s schedule. And probably because of that, one of my pet peeves is people being late, and I mean more than 10 minutes late. I know that time management is very personal but it’s always something that bothers me.

Another one is people saying things and not doing them, especially when making plans with you like “we should go shopping on Thursday” or “I’ll send you the link to…” and end up totally forgetting about it. When I say things, it’s because that’s really what I plan on doing, I don’t say things if I’m not 90% sure to do that, and if end up not being able to do them, I’ll let the person concerned know.

After many years of meeting new people all the time for school and internships, I have come to terms with the fact that we were not all brought up the same way, we all don’t have the same habits or points of view and to some extent, we need to accept one another.

I am (definitely) mostly an introvert but I do need interaction to fuel me up

I am an introvert, there is no doubt about that. I prefer to be at home rather than to be at parties, I need alone time and I don’t like being with a lot of people. But I’ve realized about 3 weeks ago that, though I am an introvert, I do need to see people and have interactions during the day to function. Like today, I’m alone at the apartment and I feel pretty lethargic. I have zero energy or will-power and am looking forward to the gym to see some people and feel the buzz of people around me. I’m sure I’ll be super happy to go back home after, but I do need this interactive time during the day. I feel like it energizes me and helps me to get my motivation going.

Listening to yourself is very important

Anybody who suffers from anxiety can tell you that. When you have a mental illness, you learn to listen to your body and the signs it gives you. I think it’s thank to listening to myself more that I have been able to get my anxiety under control. Being in sync with you body response helps to determine what’s going on in your head as well and vice versa.

Writing this, I am feeling pretty anxious, I have exams coming up and I need to find an internship so it’s getting a bit too much. I feel lightheaded because my heart is beating too fast, I feel a bit numb in my hands, a bit sick to my stomach and I have a hard time thinking straight. So because I know all that, I will be going to a spinning class at the gym for lunchtime. It will help me get rid of the stress, clear my mind and make me feel more positive. Because I know how my body is feeling, I’m able to provide a solution to the stress my brain is feeling.

What People See on Social Media  Is Only the Part of their Reality they Choose to Show You

Social media. Where to start… I love the online world, don’t get me wrong. I think it’s amazing to be able to read and see the lives of so many people from anywhere in the world and to interact with people you have never met in your life. But it also can be a bit damaging. You see beautiful photos of people who seem to have the best life, are beautiful and have the perfect body, have incredible relationships and go on amazing adventures. I’m a bit sad to admit that this often makes me feel bad about myself and I try to have a social media clear out often to prevent comparison from happening.

I’ve realized recently – I already knew it but for some reason didn’t apply it – that people only show you what they want you to see. Thankfully, more people now show us the social media part versus the behind the scenes to prove that, no, nobody’s life/body/themselves is perfect I try to only follow people who inspire me and show the good and the bad otherwise, it can soon become too much for my insecure self and I certainly don’t want to be scrolling through my Instagram feed thinking “how petty/fat/uncool/ugly I am in comparison to answer name here“.

I guess I’m more strong-willed than I thought

I’m not the most self-confident person you will meet, I always doubt myself and I’m not sure of my abilities. But in the past few years, I’ve realized that I should give myself more credit. I’m more strong-willed that I ever realized. I don’t know if it’s because I want to prove people wrong, or that I haven’t realized I can be competitive or even that I try to level up to some people, but when I put my mind to something, I can do it. Don’t get me wrong, it is hard and it takes times but if I decide that I will do something, I will do everything in my power to do it.

When I decided I will work on my fitness in order to start feeling better mentally and have a good view on my body (finally!) I started going to the gym 3 times a week, pushing myself during the classes, going even when I don’t feel like it and working to get the results I want to reach. I think it’s a bit of the issue in our society – and something I go against – is telling people what they do wrong instead of encouraging people.

What have you learned recently about yourself or as a life lesson that has changed the game for you?


One response to “7 Things I Learned About Myself, Life Lessons – My Early 20s”

  1. I’ve learned that not everyone you meet, make friends with will stay in your life and that is good. These people are put in your life for a reason and you have to figure out what it is whether it is to gain your confidence by finally telling them how you feel or simply learning to identify negative influences…..

    On a side note- I love reading this post. It rang true for me and got myself thinking.

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