I grew up having no clear idea of what I wanted to do as a job. It scared me so much that people around me seem to have a strong idea of the job title they were working for or just even the field of work. I, was lost. I thought of many jobs but what strikes me now is that they all involved creativity and being my own boss.
Whether I’d be an actress, own a bridal shop or a magazine, it always meant doing my own thing and being in charge of my own projects. I’m not necessarily one to despise authority and being told what to do, I think to some extent we need a guideline or a bite of advice, however, I have being told what to do when it comes to my personal life, my dreams and my career choices.
Internship after internship, summer job after summer job, I realized how much nothing I was doing was truly fulfilling me nor was making me happy. I wanted to be the one in control of the projects, from the idea that popped in to the finalizing points of it, of when it’d happen and how, but always if they would. I wanted them to be mine, to reflect who I am and what I want to achieve. I wanted to be able to do anything, to not feel restrained to only one area of work but rather to follow what I love and love doing. I wanted to be the CEO of my dreams and for nobody to be in a position to put a stop to my journey.
When I came to this realization, I was scared. What did it mean ? Would I ever be able to find a work where I could be and do that ?
And that’s how my blog was really born. I wanted my own space to be creative and to be myself. To create projects from scratch and to be responsible of how they’d turn out. To not be told what to do, who to be but to follow naturally my own journey.
The end of summer and the start of Autumn was a really dark reflecting time for me. I had to make a lot of career decision and I was afraid of their concequences. I didn’t want to make the wrong decision and to then not be able to follow my dream. I worked through these dark, tough thoughts and decided to follow my heart. To go for a first experience that would correspond to a part of what I like to do, something I’d feel passionate about. It didn’t need to feel like failure, it needed to enable me to continue to work on my passions whilst still being somewhat happy in what I’d do during the weekdays so that someday, hopefully, I’ll be able to do this full time *fingers crossed*
Maybe it’s why I’m more okay than I used to be about not being my own boss 24/7. I still have my little corner of the internet, my social platforms to do that. Yes, growth is important, but in the end being true to who you are is the key to be happy wherever you are going in life.