Whether it’s a body part, a face feature or your weight, there is always that something about ourself that we don’t like or would like to change.
I was whining about whatever part of my body again one day and he turned to me and told me “it must be hard being a woman” and it definitely is. There are so many beauty standards that we have to fall into to be considered beautiful that it’s impossible for any normal everyday person to feel beautiful. Magazines, online stores editing, surgery and models make us feel abnormal for having stretch marks, no thigh gap, zits, redness or unsmooth skin. Thank goodness it has been changing a bit lately but we are still not there yet.
I’ve always had something to criticize about my body. My size, my stomach, my arms, my cellulite, stretch marks, un-thigh gap legs, uneven lips, not enough volume in my hair, not enough hair,… I could go on. The sad thing is, I don’t ever feel comfortable or satisfied with how I look. Now when I look back at a time when I was slimmer I like the look of my body but at the time, it still wasn’t enough for me. But then, when will I be content? When will I accept myself? I like to think that it’s a work in progress but it’s hard. The mind is a tricky thing.
I guess the first step is to acknowledge the fact that nobody is perfect. It just doesn’t exist.
The second is that your body will not change overnight and your features won’t change (unless you do plastic surgery but then, that’s your call). That’s one thing that can be tough to digest – though quite logical – but when I think more positively about this I realize that it means that I am unique. Nobody looks like me. And that’s great. When it comes to the body, if you want to lose weight/fat or gain weight/muscle, please keep in mind that it should be a lifestyle change and not a fad diet for it to work. Be also aware that’s it’s not a race and it will take time.
The next step is to accept yourself and play with clothes and angles. What material, pattern, fit you wear has a big impact on how you look. I know that for me, ¾ length sleeves make my arms look thinner and too flowy tops make me look fatter. The angles and your posture also impact how you look. It’s just tips to trick the eyes.
The most important thing: You are amazing, just the way you are. Bruno Mars is totally right. You don’t have to change for people or yourself to be beautiful. You are. What matters is beauty on the inside (see my post here). That’s what is reflected on the outside.
For me, it was really hard to be taken in photo. I always hated my face on it because my features are “irregular” so in photos I don’t look like my reflection in the mirror, I always thought I look fat on photos and very awkward. But then I realized I am my only barrier and not everybody thinks the same way I do. Plus it also prevents me from being as creative as I’d like to be which is a shame. So I’ve started having my photo taken (thanks to my awesome sister, the amazing photographer) and posting them on Instagram, something I had been to afraid to do until now.
But something very important to me is to not have regrets. I don’t want to look back and think that I haven’t done things I wanted or wore something just because I was not satisfied enough.
I shouldn’t stop living for how I look and just accept it and embrace it.