I’ve realized that we usually take some time in January to think about the year to come but not as much about the year which has passed in December. However, it’s so interesting to reflect on what has happened and how you have changed during these past 12 months.
Amazing bloggers Fromroses and Laurenevie have done a blogpost reflecting on their past year and I loved the idea. Plus, as usual their posts were very well written and quite compelling and I love hearing about other people’s life and experiences. It’s so nice to hear about the good and the bad, the deep and the important, the personal and the business side of a person’s life and know they are like everyone. I was really inspired by their posts and thought I would do a similar one as 2017 as definitely been a mix of highs and lows.
Education-wise, this year has definitely been a funny one. The beginning of the year was one of the hardest period of my life. I had to re-sit two exams, something that had never happened to me before, and I was feeling very low of myself regarding my education. I felt ill-at-ease among my classmates who had been studying marketing for the past 3 years whilst it was my first year and I was struggling to keep up, as teachers thought we already knew all the basics. Then at the end of March, I got rejected from the two Master’s degree I had applied for because of the make-up exams (you can read more about it in this post).
I lost all self-esteem regarding my education, I felt like I was a failure and had no idea what to do. I felt very lost and for the first time, had no idea where I would be in a few months.
Thank goodness I didn’t get accepted! Thanks to this, I came across the amazing second year of master’s degree I am currently doing which is International Manager. I am studying among incredible, caring and open-minded international students and being taught from professionals all with an international point of view and I absolutely love it. For the first time in my education I actually feel like I belong and am so comfortable. I am so happy every time I enter our classroom and see everybody smiling and saying hi to everyone, all without a trace of self-doubt. I know I belong and I love it.
For the 3rd year in a row, this new school year meant we had to move again. For this year I wasn’t really mad about it. I didn’t really like the city we were studying in the year before and was excited to move back to Grenoble which is way bigger and more beautiful. It was another process but honestly pretty simple this time. We only visited two apartments and ended up renting the first one we saw.
It’s pretty cosy – though a bit small for two people – and I feel super comfortable in this new home for the first time ever outside of my parents’s house. We have a very convenient and safe location and are close to campus and to my boyfriend’s university which is perfect. The city provides gorgeous views and is so student-friendly and convient thanks to trams everywhere. I really feel good here which is oh such a relief!
It’s not something I talk about to many people, in fact, very few people are aware of my anxiety and panic attack disorder. But talking about it on my blog is a sort of therapy and I like to think that I might help people by talking about it and give them hope it can get better.
Last year was very difficult. I had so much anxiety I couldn’t sleep, I had very high anxiety pretty much everyday and had to go back to my parents almost every weekend to prevent my anxiety from overflowing and having a panic attack. I felt so helpless and confused about why it wasn’t going away. It was already the third year in a row and though I was working on it, I seemed not to be enough.
Now a few months later, I am now in a much better place. I have low anxiety when I get overtired and in certain situations but it’s still manageable. I sleep well and I haven’t had a panic attacks in months, the last one I remember (there might have been a minor one after but I don’t remember) were actually three big ones in a row in the middle of July so five months ago! I think because I am much more comfortable in my life at the moment, I feel more in control of what I do, I enjoy my studies and life and overall am much happier. I am so incredibly grateful and quite proud of myself everyday not to have given up and to be in such a good place. It had been so hard the years before I thought I would always feel anxious, uncomfortable and tired, but now, I know it can be better, I can feel better and whenever I have a down moment, that’s what I think about.
Though I have had many very lows in 2017, the highs were pretty amazing. The two main ones were trips. The first one was our 7 year anniversary trip to Toulon back at the beginning of July. My boyfriend surprised me with a getaway weekend to the south of France and I loved every second of it. It was so nice to get out of our routine, spend our time visiting and wandering around, go the pool and to the beachside. I felt so happy there, it was a burst of fresh air that lasted for the next couple weeks.
The second one was the trip to Brighton in August (you can check my Brighton series here, here and here). It was such an anticipated trip and a really happy one. It was all I had hoped for : relaxing and beautiful. I really felt at peace there, maybe it was the fresh air or the inspiration from all of the Brightonian bloggers and vloggers there but I felt so energized and motivated. The city was so pretty and we had a great weather which enabled us to do everything by foot. I am currently really wanting to go back there and hope to very soon.
Blogging & Career
This year was the year I started blogging seriously and had by biggest achievements so far. I have not long ago reached 300 total followers (read my Blogging Experience and A Huge Thank You – 300 followers post here) and am now so focused on blogging.
I love how creative I can be on my little corner of the internet and interacting with people from all over the world. I can write about whatever floats my boat and feel a real feeling of accomplishment about it. Blogging has opened a door I was waiting to open for years. It also gave me a clearer idea of what job I would like to do. The more I think about it, the more I know I would like to work for myself and doing something that is my own creation.
Not long ago, Zoella/ZoÃ« posted inspirational quotes in her Instagram stories and two especially, hit home. I don’t think I will be able to do what I would like to do just yet, but as Oprah said, sometimes you have to do what you have to do until you can do what you want to. My blog has really been an eye-opener about what I enjoy doing and what I am able to achieve. I am aware that my blog is still quite small in the blogging sphere, but the fact that it grows gives me hope that I am doing something right.
The other quote hit me hard as well. So many people don’t go through with their dreams and end up being envious of others for what they have accomplished and I don’t want that to happen to me. I want to make sure I have tried my hardest to build my dreams, even if it doesn’t work out. Don’t get me wrong, it is very hard to actually go for it and it might require other things (time, money, etc…) to give it your best shot. I know that for now I don’t have the necessary time nor money to put my all into my blog, which sometimes is quite frustrating, but I am going to do my best to little by little put everything in place.
What has been the main difference 2017 has made on you? Overall, was it a good one or a bad one?
Fromroses’ post here
Laurenevie’s post here